Mar. 11th, 2012

0bsoleteastronaut: (Default)
 

I FINALLY HAVE A DESK! AND STARTED PAINTING!

And I've also come to the realisation that I suck at painting! I completely overestimated my ability and am nowhere near the kind of masterfully done style I'm hoping to develop. Of course I'm not trying to imply that I would be able to achieve such a skill level in painting overnight. I have a few ideas that I'm willing to experiment with in terms of the painting because really I'm having a hard time with painting the hair, even though the skin tone turned out mediocre as well. I was also really hoping that the pencil lines wouldn't turn out quite so obvious. However I have to keep reminding myself that in order to improve I just have to keep practising, even if I get gravely discouraged or sad that I can't paint so well. 

 Things that I have to do: 

• Paint the hair and actually make it look like hair not a lump of mass.

• Somehow get rid of the pencil lines.

Also this is all on just a face too! The drawing part I pinned down easily, but then came the painting part and I messed that up. You know what else kind of sucks? Earlier today I was so inspired and was chipper and feeling quite great, but then it all came to a screeching halt and ended up doing some kind of graceful pirouette off the cliff and plummeting into the cold dark sea. Basically I just feel so uninspired right now. Or maybe I'm just really tired because I didn't sleep at all last night.

 Oh I don't mean to complain though. Maybe tomorrow it'll be better.

So here's some personal stuff going on in my life: I think my friend likes me. It's only a suspicion though but somebody told me that suspicions like that don't spawn from nowhere. I guess it was initially just a feeling that I had but they seem to flirt with me a lot (at least I think they're flirting I can never really tell) and when I slept over their house last night they even suggested that I sleep in the same bed with them, which I'll admit I was pretty uncomfortable with. But I declined (politely) and chose the air mattress on the floor. This all wouldn't be an issue if I actually liked them back, but I don't, and more importantly my heart belongs to someone else anyway (the "someone else" wasn't there at the sleepover) and considering my current situation with the voices romantic relationships aren't currently top priority in terms of things to think about (but here I am thinking about it anyway!). As long as my friend understands that I have someone else and etc. then I feel like we can continue our friendship. But I'll admit I was really eager to get home.

But maybe I'm just getting ahead of myself here, as I said it's only a strong suspicion. Just the prospect of this person liking me is making me uncomfortable!

OK well, I'm so very tired, I'm going to go to sleep now.

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Alex J.

May 2014

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