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I used to get stoned a lot. Now that I'm on medication I can't eat up some Totino's pizza rolls anymore, but it used to be a common thing with me. Not terribly common like every day or whatever, but you know, a semi-regular basis like I guess a couple of times a week. Most of the times that I smoked was with my friend J (potential lead guitarist for my band) and he was a really great guy to get stoned with. Now that I'm on medication I can't get stoned anymore, and I kind of miss it. Speaking of medication, my doctor increased my dosage to 160mg today and hopefully I'll feel better and the side effects won't be too adverse. I took the first pill of my new dosage an hour ago (though from now on I'll be taking at at 6AM and PM) and so far so good. I originally started out on 40mg a day, and then for a while it was 80mg. Man when I first started Geodon, it made me so nauseous all the time! Right now I feel sort of queasy but it's bearable.

Overall I've had a pretty terrible day being that I had some problems in the doctor's office (that almost resulted in me being sent to an institution) and whatnot, but it improved by the time evening came and I woke up from my nap. I was really nauseous but I had some delicious broccoli and macaroni dish and had a cigarette and suddenly I was all better! Maybe the nausea was hunger? It lingered after I ate though. Hmm. Anyway, after dinner I went for a walk and I went down to the playground first and then I went down to the beach by the power plant. It was pretty refreshing.

Some more good news by the way!!!!!!!! But my dad got me an easel and also a cool watercolour book and a folder that I can store stuff in! He also got me some paintbrushes. I'm very happy about this and this also has improved my day significantly. He's done so much for me and everybody in general has been putting up with me which I am eternally grateful for. I know it's hard to live with me it's no cake in the park. As part of my payback of my gratitude I'm going to work very hard on MDC--as hard as I can. I mean, not like I haven't been working hard on it before and I do think about it pretty much constantly, but I'm going to work my hardest from now on and see how much I can get accomplished each day. I'm also going to work on trying to get my life back together because as somebody put it I need to "go back to the real world." But really, sometimes I think I'm clairvoyant and that the daemons are sending me new entities to torture me with because they know I can see them.

My mom has forbidden me from looking at horror films and even fantasy films she's dubious about! It makes me kind of sad that I can't watch my fantasy films because I thoroughly enjoy them. Horror I've been fond of too but not as much as fantasy! My favourite fantasy has to be Lord of the Rings. I read The Silmarillion back when I was thirteen and it stuck with me, and I also read The Hobbit which is also a great book. And the movies are excellent. I can't wait for the Hobbit to come out! The trailer certainly looks amazing. And I'm so happy Sir Ian McKellen came back to play Gandalf the Grey. To be honest I've always liked Gandalf the Grey's look better than Gandalf the White's, even if the latter is much more powerful.

OK so here's a cool thing that I keep forgetting to mention--you can see Jupiter and Venus outside my house, as well as Mars! You were able to see them for several days in a row, actually. Every time I'd go out for my after-dinner smoke, I'd see them up in the sky next to the moon. So that's a cool little thing that I wanted to share.

So I figured out the name for the town my story is going to take place in. It's...............................................(wait for it)..........................................

Also the painting is going along very slowly. Today was an off-day for my art skills, they just weren't good today. So I'm going to try again tomorrow. And I'm going to study the watercolour book thoroughly.

Sketches: 5 out of 5 stars done
Colouring: 1 out of 5 stars
Profile: 5 out of 5 stars

It's moving along, however slow it can be.

OK I must go to sleep. I wonder what's for dinner tomorrow.


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Alex J.

May 2014

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